Good afternoon my adoring fans. My computer recently shut off, but I could hear you screaming my name from across the ocean. Especially you, Ziehen. Calm down, okay? This is life, not soccer.

I have some… *budududum* NEWS! It’s all shiny and clean, too.

With temperatures slowly inching their way to absolute zero, Wisconsinites like myself are bundling up. The government is sending us helpful tips in an effort to help us feel a little bit warmer.

Helpful signs to keep you aware that the cold should not control your actions

Reminders to share your body heat with others.

Financial Tips such as: Cotton candy makes a cheaper insulation than fiberglass

THE SLEEVED BLANKET STRIKES AGAIN

Enlist your horse in today’s newest Doomsday cult! The Horse Snuggie is new on the market. So if you don’t own a car, bike, skateboard, scooter, motorcycle, feet, or a wheelchair of some kind, and are completely incapable of taking the bus, you probably use horses as a mode of transportation. Well, good news Amish guy reading my site, you can keep your horses warm in today’s winter environment as you trek to the west in search of gold.

Animal Cruelty Much?

BASEMENT!

I’m definitely typing all of this from my sticky, gross basement. Recently my computer was destroyed, and all I have left is this dank pit beneath the stairs to write my posts in. Just a little reminder that I won’t be able to post much for the next couple weeks.

FOLLOWING THE LATEST TREND

People are posting about music on this site. Unfortunately, I rarely stay updated on the latest music. But that doesn’t mean I can’t offer some advice.  Among my favorite bands, lies a little Alt-Metal gem by the name of Incubus. Their wide range of music styles have me absolutely baffled. Arguably their hardest album, S.C.I.E.N.C.E. is currently in my top 10 favorite albums list. Check it out if you’re into Alternative, Metal, great vocalists, or incredible bass lines.

Still no songs about Bill Nye...

Sure it’s pretty old, but sometimes the oldies are the goodies. And sometimes they’re terrible trips through Hell (See AC/DC).

Disclaimer: To those of you who like AC/DC. I must both apologize and congratulate you, for you can read.

Real Disclaimer: I’m just being mean. Don’t worry people, I’m only kidding.