Sorry. I hope I didn’t offend any fundamentalist Christians. In case you are one, consider Rowan Atkinson not suitable for yourself. I just used the title of a British sketch to get everyone’s attention, regardless of religious orientation.

So … I don’t know what my specific area of post topics is. Orgulan did something on games, Jamey did his “tout des explosions” thingy and Kyle has reminded us of Piplup. Speaking of that “l’animal joyeuse”, it won the poll. Congratulations, Piplup, you will be granted more elite food from all possible cuisines of this universe! Plus a 52′ TV brought to you by FailBlog.org! More fail, more fun! But onto the “probationary posting”, if you will. For I need to use caution with humour.

I:

France has pissed off the Irish (once again?). Why? Because in a sport that seems a side-story over there, the French cheated – for the 10^22.53th time in history. So now that even though la France qualified for the biggest tournament of their national sport’s scene, riots still started. Another dozen cars got burned, and the automobile industry CEOs are laughing their asses off, because productions are logically better off then in Germany … where we don’t enjoy polluting by burning cars.

Probable reply by affected: (Soccer cheater) “I did it for ze onor!” (Irish fans) “We are upset because we can ran out of beer for the first time in decades!” (Rioters) “Come on! We haven’t rioted in twenty-seven hours, that’s an all-time record!” (CEOs) “Now I can finally buy myself some unorthodox fromage [cheese] again!”

II:

The “Big Bang Machine” (actually an epic particle accelarator, whose tunnel covers 27 km or 17 miles for that acceleration) is up again after a year of repairs! However, no more repairs can be undertaken as the Swiss bank, UBS, has been forced by the U.S. government to reveal their information of customers with more than a certain number of Euros in their pockets (simple English: filthy rich), and no more money can be illegally wired from North European customers to finance the machine. I think this is the Swiss way of saying: “We were made in the 1300s. By 2300s, we will end our 1000-year neutrality and go weapons hot.” I knew they were onto something…

III:

Today’s “Ziehen’s Post: It’s reached a Negative Boredom reading on the scale for once!” segment will finish off with the mandatory picture of laughter. A fail. From the internet.

“I think I shouldn’t have floored her while already doing 80 in a 30 zone, leading up to a ramp made out of cardboard, sponsored by China.”

So that’s it for now. I’m new to this kind of topic blogging (“We demand more fail imagery!”), so please give me your feedback.

Sincerely,

Ziehen

P.S. To state the obvious … you are not in hell. However, this message will self-destruct before you can finish that delicious milkshake. Sorry. Vote for us next time.

P.P.S. The Poles have just reached No.1 in the “Hooligans” rankings! Congratulations! You made your point; now get a job!